Well surprise, surprise...the tidal wave of lack I was expecting hit, and yet here I am [and here you are].
Perhaps it will just be my lot in life to keep keeping on [thank you NKOTB] no matter what, perhaps because I've never taken loosing well, and perhaps because I firmly believe, that nobody can ever, EVER, successfully tell me what to do.
I dusted myself [or wrung out my clothes if we're keeping the tidal wave metaphor going], got up and applied for a consolidated loan...it felt awful, laying all our debts out there for strangers to pour over, but the Wog and I did it and I'm terribly proud of him. We're still waiting to hear from the money lending folks, but maybe, just maybe the Lack will remove its claws from us and we'll be able to move forward. Maybe.
It's terrifically hard to keep hoping, pining for something I don't know will happen. Bullheadedness I've got in spades, but I've never done well with uncertainty. The unknown and uncontrolled terrify me...
So I focus on the trivial, the mundane...and yes, I often focus on Hiddleston [and no, he is most certainly not being lumped in with the trivial or mundane]. But he is achingly lovely and somehow focusing on him alleviates the pressure I can feel bubbling up inside me. I can't explain it, and I won't. He's lovely.
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