Too Many Changes To List - Yet, behold! A List!

There seems to be a recurring theme in my poor old Beaver blog. I write volumes of content long hand, which I then hoard, under the guise of 'someday' transcribing the material onto the site.  Then I get too lazy, stressed or frustrated and nothing happens. Or I wait until some catastrophic happens, and I come on here and spill my problems for the world to see, before disappearing again. This cycle seems to repeat itself every few month.

So here we are again. How to describe the last few months in a nutshell?

Bullet points! Those should do the trick!

• May - Packed up 9 years worth of life, two dogs, one cat, one 9 year old, one 5 year old and one husband and sold our house.
• June - Homeless until our new house was ready. The husband opted to stay in his city of business as the prospect of sleeping on my parents' couch had no real appeal. I spent the month working overtime, drinking and sleeping on a 'bed' composed of patio furniture cushions and homemade quilts.
• July - The move into the new house runs smoothly until my brother in law had the unfortunate situation of being murdered. By his father. Just because you're a dick, doesn't mean you should die like a dog. 
• August - Was hot. My overtime continues.
• September - Goose and Roux begin at their new school. I feel stress regarding religious standards that I cannot possibly meet. I am given a police back check before I am allowed to participate in school events.

 There are times when I miss the fandom that gave me such peace. But at the end of the day, I realise it was the people I loved that made it all worth while. Those individuals will be carried in my heart forever; I'll never forget a single moment I had with any of them.

Blessed Be.

Concerning Perspectives and Pink Sweaters

It's all about perspective. The more we focus on things, the more we miss. I consider myself to be an observant person, but I know that left to my own devices I easily become overwhelmed with the details. So much of me is about the details.

Sometimes, details feel like they're all I have. I cling to them, and they cling to me.

Last week a sweet, wonderful little soul moved on.

Today I needed something pink to wear to her visitation.

Pink. The simplest of gestures.

As I stood in front of my closet, I felt the weight of so many things pressing against me. The lack of a place to live in less than a month, new job, new schools, lack of money brought about by my own gullibility, leaving all familiarity for the unknown. So many variables. So many worries.

But in that moment I just needed something pink.

Because that moment wasn't about me, or my problems, real or imagined.

It was about finding a fitting way to say goodbye. It was about letting go.

Sometimes, when life seems to be at its most complicated, focusing on the simple things is the best solution.

In that moment, there was no me, worries, houses, money or false promises.

There was only a pink sweater.

More details about the sweet soul in question, can be found here: Lifewithlol.com