Moving Forward...sort of

The Goose started grade one yesterday; he was beyond thrilled by this. I, slightly less so. This is not to say that I'm not proud of Goose, or vaguely confused how he got to be old enough to attend grade one, I just feel...removed somehow.

When this journey into night began nearly two years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever let the kids' lives be negatively affected by the Lack. But the Lack is rearing its tentacles at nearly every possible venue these days. Every time I manage to pry one off another one grows in its place.

I couldn't afford to buy Goose a new school bag that he desperately wanted, shoes or school supplies...but I couldn't let him start without them either. I don't want him to be that kid. I know I should make it a learning experience, but he's six...his learning lessons should be reading and math, not that Mommy can't pay for both his pizza lunch and the oil bill at the same time. Or that Mommy is sick to death of going to GrandMommy with a hand out. Or that Mommy's heart is broken in so many peices she can barely hold it together.

I wait so patiently for the Wonderful, and will continue to wait.  For Goose and Roux I will wait forever.

Is it so very wrong...

That tonight I worked late, felt guilty about working late, so I bought the kids Happy Meals?
Lazy [and gross -the meals, not the kids] but they [the kids-not the meals] seemed terrifically happy...and that made me happy. Then onto bubble baths and copious amounts of stories, then bed. I think I may be more tired that they are. I feel so much pressure to squeeze something meaningful into the measly two hours I spend with them every day...and what does my brain produce?  Happy Meals.
Seriously though, are Happy Meals evil?   I don't think they do anything other than emphasize my lazy parenting [and inability to cook]. 
Plus Goose wants me to pull out his loose tooth...this completely squicks me. I just can't do it...

It Begins

Believe it or not, it has now taken me over ten minutes to write these few sentences. Why?

Well, the two little people milling about my feet are most likely the cause; Goose, who is six and Roux, who is two both seem to have sixth senses which immediately inform them if I'm attempting to do something [anything!] that doesn't involve them.

After a very hectic post-vacation week at the Big Green me and the kids have all been enjoying an early [very early!] Lincoln Logs session while the Wog [also known as Daddy] sleeps in. Sometimes the times that should be the calmest are often the most chaotic...strange how that happens.