Who is Watching Whom?

So today I get that dreaded call from the school saying that my Goose has fallen in the playground and hit his head. I know nobody enjoys calls from the school, but I particularly hate ‘injury’ calls; they always make me feel infinitely more guilty than illness calls, and part of me is always angry that my child got hurt while somebody else was watching them.

Immediately I jump into Dr Quinn-mode and demand to know if he’s dizzy, throwing up, how high was he when he fell etc…

The woman on the other end answers all my questions, and when I’m satisfied that there is no immediate danger I ask to speak with my son. Initially she’s reluctant, but I, being me, persist until he’s brought to the phone. Or at least until some child is brought to the phone. Here’s where it gets a little weird…

You see, two seconds into the call I realize that the child I’m speaking to IS NOT MINE. Calmly I ask the child to let me speak with the program’s Director, and when the phone is handed over, explain that, whichever child I was speaking to IS NOT MINE. No, she says, he just sounds that way because he’s shaken up, or maybe my connection is bad, but she insists, I was speaking to my blue-eyed Goose [blue like his Mommy's eyes she says]. I acquiesce, because let’s face it, I am very hard of hearing on one side at the best of times, and the phones at Big Green aren’t exactly stellar.

I call the Wog to be on the look out for head injuries when Goose gets home and go back to work.

A few hours later the phone rings again. This time the Director explains to me, laughing all the while that she did mix up the children and it wasn’t my Goose I was speaking to, but some other injured child. Goose never fell, she says, she was just confused…oh, and she’s sorry if she worried me.  Nice of her to let me know.

So apparently the people I'm paying to take care of my child, don’t actually know who my child is or what he’s doing. Which begs the question, if they aren’t watching, who is?